Stumbling Thoughts - Archana Karkera

It was a special day, It was my birthday. He asked what can I gift, I smiled away with a drift. He insisted on a reply, Something which he can buy, About which I am passionate, Something that I fascinate. My reply was weak, Hoping he doesn't freak, Thinking about how to say, So that it comes the right way. I said it's expensive, Not mandatory for you to give. But if I get it, It will be the most beautiful gift. He wondered what it could be, Curiously again he asked me. Trying my best to get it, If it fits my pocket. To this I say, It will be my life's last day, If I ask you to spend a penny, I must get curses of many. You ask what can I gift By you, I want to be kissed, Longing for a day spent with you Waiting for just us two.

The light I was looking for, Is finally in front of me. It fell on my face And made me swing with glee. You became a friend, You gave me hope. I wasn't prepared, You helped me cope. We talked for hours, Our hearts were filled, Our emotions would flow, And loneliness got killed. Before we knew, We got so close. As the shyness dropped, Our relationship rose. Holding your hands In good and bad times, I will walk with you, Till you want to be mine.

 I made you my first priority, But I was your last. I said let's go with the flow, But I got crashed. A little emotion is what I expected, But you had none. I didn't know it's one-sided, You just wanted fun. You pulled me into this, And you got out. Leaving no way out for me, Blocking all paths. It isn't a bed of roses, But a route of thorns. I am still there, But you are long gone. You taught me to be hopeful, You taught me to expect. You break it all, And pricked till I wept. I thought I could express in front of you, But I am left with feelings in my heart turning blue.

I never expected so soon, I will be drifted away from you, All plans to come closer to you, Turned into ashes and flew. Great moments we had together, Though they didn't last forever, My loneliness you cleared away, Expecting they will never come at bay. False moments they were, Dreamy days you gave, Lie was all over the couch, Above which we laid. All I am left with, Is hatred for you, All the respect I had, With carelessness you blew.

Some unsaid words, Some hidden truths, I longed to say, Failed from the roots… I wanted to let it out, When the moment was never right, And when it was, My wishes fell off like a kite… A gentle touch, A brief hand hold, Is what I only wished for, For our relationship to mold... Today the stare you gave, Was a true gem, But it made me shy away, Which I will always condemn… I still wonder, Your intention behind it, Are we on the same sloop, Or my thoughts need to quit… Whatever you intend, My gratification for you will not loose, My limits are labelled, Which will never deduce.

The favors you did are bigger, For the returns I gave, Still why do I expect more, When I have least to give from my core. I chose to stay away, I chose to come back, You just chose to keep it neutral, Why do I take it as a refusal. I have all the joy in life, I have whatever I wanted, But seeing the same joy at your dispersion, Makes me a weak person. You wanted me when you were alone, I am gone when you have someone, The toy you needed the most, Will not bug you anymore. Wandering all around is my heart, Grabbing the most joyous of them all, Doesn’t know what it wants to find, It’s just an unstable mind.

It wasnt a happy depart, Rather a careless one for me, Ripping our joys apart, Leaving you clueless for years to be. We could have been together, We could have shared so much of life, But i searched for something better, Ending all expectations with a knife. No secrets between us, Nothing to hide would have been, A little fights, a little fuss, Glowing moon would have seen. Twisting tongues would have played, Dripping sweat would have stayed, Finger pulled by the earth We could have bathed in dirt. After decade of realization, Regrets are left for confrontation, Apologies dont matter, When life is now a scatter.

When you stumble, I weep. When you fly high, Sorrow gets sweeped. Every morning I think of you, Waiting for surprises out of the blue. Afternoons I rush to see, If you will leave me with any grief. I love your curves, The Bullish you, May you rise, And I look upto you. Weekends I miss you, More than anyone else do. Why are you so cruel, And ignore me too. Monday morning arrives, Again I long for you. Chucking away everyone, I stare at you. # StockMarket # PoeticNewbie

I wish we were destined to meet earlier, Our lives would have been more merrier. I would have been in your arms, Been most important of all your charms. My feelings were dead and life was plain, You swung in by and rose them again, Laying my head on your chest, You caressed it with all your best. If we met not like we were destined to be, Together we could be for years to see, Similar likes and similar habits, Compatibility would have been our chit. Together we could live our passion, With our own life of creation. All crumbles of the day, At nights, on bed they would lay. Biting your ears gently, Rolling my tongue on your shoulders, Down goes my fingers slipping off, When you rescue them with your Palm. Holding hands tight, tucked behind on wall, You look at my eyes, with desires they call. Pressing with power, you don't let me move, I wish for more, wildness for which I drool. How long it took for me to understand, The place wh...