Kitna chain hota hai na sachchai mein - My Experience
Life is not about how long you live, it’s about how well you live it.
Although I had heard this multiple times from the proverb experts and other people who claim to be life experts, but I actually experienced it only at the age of 25, when I was meeting my prospecting groom.
One thing I learnt then and still advice others planning to get married is that be truthful to the person. Pretending your nature will simply lead to a wrong impression in front of the person you wish to live with forever. And it will bring up more problems for you and the person.
My family and I were searching for a guy for me to get married. After few would-be prospects, we found one. I meet him in a coffee shop, had some quick chat about our likes, dislikes, workplaces, hobbies and more. Even before our 1st meet up we would call, text, chat for like once in an hour. But there was always a feeling of guilt that I have hidden something from him. And that's about the earlier relationship which was almost about to convert into an engagement.
“When I had started with the process of husband hunting - Yes, that's what I used to call it ;), I didn’t really know what to ask the guy. I didn’t know how to judge him. I also didn’t know how much do I reveal about myself on first one or two meet ups. All I knew was that I have to get married. After meeting up 3 guys, my family chose someone and I was pretty OK with it. We met, families met, everything was fine. An engagement date was fixed. But soon we realized, the compatibility level between us is very low. Continuing with it will simply lead to a disaster. So we thought to cut it off. Post this, I realized, it's just not about meet ups. It's about knowing each other and analyzing if it will work for life.”
If I told him about this experience, there were chances that he wouldn't want to proceed with this. But as far as I knew him (although it was almost zilch), I was sure he wouldn't do that. And by now I liked him enough to not let him go. After like a million thoughts, I decided that I will go with the truth. Revealing it now is the better than informing it anytime later. So finally I decided to let go off my sleepless night and experience a peaceful time.
I found this girl in almost the same situation as mine. A bottle of Kinley gives her the strength to tell the truth to her father as it was the right thing to do.
We decide to meet again. This time when I saw him, a feeling of fear flashed across. But I had decided that I will not back off in any case. After a few minutes of chat, the actual conversation started...
Me: "I wanted to tell you something important, something which I should have told by now. Hope I am doing the right thing by saying this..."
He: "Yes, Sure. Go on.."
Me: "Few months back, my engagement had got fixed with a boy, but we broke up..."
And I paused and examined his expression. His eyebrows rose a bit.
He: "Oh. I didn't know this."
Me: "Ya. I think you should know about this before we proceed"
He: "Yes. But what happened? Why did that relationship break?"
And I explained him everything in the simplest way I could. At that moment, I wished I had rehearsed it before actually doing it. But nevertheless, I didn’t do that bad.
After listening to everything quietly, he said, "Ok, Can I tell this at home?"
I giggled silently and gave him a nod.
Rest of the conversation was normal. It didn’t look like he was much affected after listening to the truth. While on my way back to home, I was relieved that I have done the right thing by not keeping any secrets. While thinking about it, I felt my phone vibrate.
It was a text message, "Im glad u told the truth, Hope to see u again".
My smile got wider and even more wider by the time I reached home.
More than the fear of losing him, I was happy that I had met the right person. Someone who is not affected by culture we live in. Someone who is quite broad minded and doesn't go by what other say. Someone who will be by my side when I am correct. After completing 3 years of marriage, I can proudly say he is someone who gives more importance to truth than the false society.